2023- New Year, New You?

I am a notorious preacher, who more often than not, ignores their own words. This year I am choosing to be different. I am refusing to hang on to things that no longer serve me and my higher good. For the past two years I have been forced to break open the shell and slowly pull myself out of a nice, cozy, cocoon in hopes of emerging as the beautiful butterfly. I repeated my actions for decades, laughably hoping for a different result. This year I told myself, "no". No longer will I choose to relive the past over and over again. I will no longer allow those things in my life that do not serve a purpose, to consume my thoughts. I will no longer give to those who have not asked for me to give, and I will no longer put the needs of everyone else before mine- I will choose me first. I have to.This is the year that I say yes to all those things that terrify me. Yes to kind people who are here to inspire me, and yes to that which will only propel me to reach my highest good.

I use to tell people that I am not a pessimist, I am a realist. Reality has shown me that actually, I tend to sit on the pessimistic side. Why do I do this? Well, without a psychologist to back me up, I've realized that my pessimism began as a defence mechanism to keep my expectations low, and alleviate any anxiety I may have had around the outcome of a situation. I chose to EXPECT disappointment rather than work towards positivity and success. As I enter my 4th decade of life (sounds prettier than saying I'm turning 40 in a few months), I have realized that I must change my thoughts and behaviour, as I have contributed to all the ailments and anxiety that consume my body. I must acknowledge all the pain these experiences have brought me, feel the emotions that arise, and let go. I must allow myself to finally release these painful experiences and move on.

You see, when we live in the past, we tell our body that we should relive a situation until we are able to change the outcome. Unfortunately, we can never change an outcome that has already taken place. All we can do is learn from it and grow. I read a quote from Dr. Joe Dispenza that read, "A memory without the emotional charge is called wisdom". Such truth in a simple sentence.

I have reflected and shared my stories on my childhood traumas, my adolescent traumas, and my adult traumas far too often. I shared them as if I should be rewarded with a medal, or some kind of recognition that said, "Yes Natalie, so many people have done you wrong". While I am not wrong in acknowledging that I was hurt, the reality is I am CHOOSING to replay these events in some subconscious hope that I can change the ending. I can't. I have to choose my next chapter in life- that is the outcome I DO have control of. That is how I go forward and leave the past where it belongs- behind me.

For anyone who struggles with this same type of thought pattern, I ask you. How many more times do you need to focus on a memory that you cannot change, before you allow yourself permission to focus on the future memories you CAN create?

2023 will be MY year. While growth and change IS hard, what's harder is looking back 5 years from now and realizing you haven't made a single change. Make 2023 the year you no longer punish yourself with painful memories, but rather the year you take those memories and tuck them into your "wisdom" room to make room for the beauty the future has in store for you.

Sending light and love for a healthy 2023,

xox Natalie